People grow when they are loved well.

“People grow when they are loved well. If you want to help others heal, love them without an agenda.” ~ Mike McHargue

What does it mean to love unconditionally? “But I don’t have conditions on whether or not I love someone,” argues the internal voice. Perhaps looking at it a different way may help us to understand better. What comes out when I encounter: a homeless person, a prisoner, a murderer, an addict, a religious zealot, a monk, a severely disfigured person, a hippie, a politician? What are my instincts to think, say and do?

We are conditioned to try to understand logically. We are conditioned to decide whether something or someone is “right” or “wrong”. We are conditioned to judge everything, everyone, even ourselves. But what if when we look at someone we are able to understand that each of us are on different journeys, journeys that are specifically designed for our souls to grow and evolve? When we understand this, we are able to go one step further. What if that addict’s journey is EXACTLY what he needs to develop areas of his life: temperance, compassion, patience, love- lessons he may never be able to learn otherwise. What if the humiliation and restriction of being severely disfigured teaches that soul that she is ENOUGH? What if the grasping and cajoling of the politician shows him that he can rest in BEING? What if the violence of the murderer reveals the power of FEAR and its grip on our lives?

Whatever our form or story is, we can rest in the knowing that each of us are here for our souls to grow and evolve. Our form and our story is the vehicle by which we exist here on the earth, but it is NOT who we are, no more than our cars are who we are. What if we can recondition our thinking to look past form and story and see souls- spirits that are immeasurably worthy, indescribably beautiful, infinitely worthy? In this new mode of operation, we can see each other clearly. We recognize we no longer have to change each other, convince each other of anything. Why? Because we understand that WE ARE ENOUGH. WE ARE NOT BROKEN. We are simply pilgrims traveling on this journey we call life, learning, growing, evolving along the way. Instead of judging each other, we can see the incredibly wondrous spirits that we are. We can love without conditions, agenda or judgement. This is unconditional love.