I returned home from Austin today and have been observing a few things about myself as a result of my encounters. My last three days have included revisiting Cory’s life and death and all the grief that ensued with his passing. Yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting with a Bereft Parents Dinner Group. That was the first grief group support meeting of any kind that I have ever attended. The way I have responded to grief was so unusual, and where I am today is so different from most people’s experience that I felt like first of all that I didn’t need a group. Secondly, I thought my experience may be intimidating to others. But what I realize and own is that I didn’t want to have to deal with other people’s grief in that way.
When I go to Austin, I want to feel happy. I didn’t want to feel grief. I have done a lot of that on my own. But after going, I found out that I really received a lot by hearing other people’s experiences. I felt such love and compassion for my new friends, and it wasn’t a burden to share their grief. And what’s more, people weren’t intimidated by me. They were inspired by my story.
As I go further into looking at my life, I see that as I have healed, my focus has shifted from dealing with grief, which is somewhat specific to those who have lost loved ones, to a more general work of embodying LOVE. I don’t see myself as mainly offering something to those who experience grief, but sharing a universal message to the collective. And I think part of me was tired of being identified with and somewhat alienated by my grief experience.
What I understand now is I AM here to share my experience of loving unconditionally. But I am also here for my friends, known and unknown who experience loss and grief. And I feel grateful to serve others in love and be served in such a powerful way by beautiful people who have touched the face of God by feeling part of their soul depart to the other side.